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This opinion piece received plenty of media coverage. When the Prime Minister was asked about it on ABC Radio, he said that he was flattered to be compared to Kylie Minogue. Even the editorial blurb (written by The Australian - which also devised the title - and not this author) suggested it was a compliment. It wasn't meant to be.

Respect for a pair of stayers

The Australian 13 November 2006

As prime minister, Paul Keating once described himself as “the Placido Domingo of Australian politics,” suggesting that Domingo’s performances were “sometimes great, and sometimes not great, but always good". At the time, as one of the Three Tenors, Domingo was at the height of his popularity – and Keating, while not exactly a populist, went on to win an election.

John Howard doesn’t seem to share his predecessor’s admiration for operatic tenors, or music in general. He has said that he likes Bob Dylan “for the music”, and enjoys Midnight Oil’s Beds are Burning, but that was a little unconvincing.

Keating was often criticised for his distance from the Australian people. Howard is known for his canny reading of the electorate, and his identity lies closer to home. Simply put, he is the Kylie Minogue of Australian politics.

He might not be flattered by the comparison. One can’t imagine him dancing joyously to her music – but even without resorting to dumb jokes about physical height or hair loss, Little Johnny has a few things in common with the Singing Budgie.

Recently, Vogue Australia editor Kirstie Clements said that Minogue has a wide following, because “she doesn’t polarise people.” Howard can’t beat that – but that’s OK, because it’s not true. Minogue has always had her detractors –indeed, she still stirs many people with rage – but she still has enough supporters to stay at the top. Remind you of anyone?

Neither Howard nor Minogue are known for their innovation. Keating was an innovator, which is one reason he lost an election to Howard. Radio Birdman and the Go-Betweens were innovators as well. They could only dream about having Minogue’s record sales. Her music is safe and predictable, which is exactly what Howard tries to be (even though, leading a world nation, he can’t really be those things).

Whether visiting a record shop or a polling booth, people steer clear of the innovators. Minogue’s “GST moment” was her attempt to go arty in the early nineties, which alienated her fans, and was ignored by all the rock purists who were ignoring her anyway. She quickly did a policy backflip, singing more bubblegum pop, and becoming a big star once again. “Lazarus with a triple bypass,” you might say.

Since then, the unthinkable has happened: both Howard and Minogue are even bigger than they were in the late 1980s – even though, back then, they were both so ubiquitous that many people found them annoying (in her case, rock purists; in his case, almost everyone). When Minogue left Neighbours in 1988, when Howard was ousted from the Liberal leadership in 1989, it was assumed that they would soon fade into obscurity, like most soap-opera stars and fallen politicians.

Yet they are now on top, despite all the critics. Earlier this year, when Howard celebrated his tenth anniversary as prime minister, the coverage was intriguing. For once, little was said to suggest that his achievement was due to political cunning. Even many of his detractors now spoke about him with respect, because however he did it, he had been enormously successful.

Though her songs are no more sophisticated than they were in the eighties, Minogue is accorded a similar respect. Last year, when Rolling Stone magazine listed the greatest-ever Australian recording artists, she came in at number six (ahead of the Easybeats and INXS). “Going by raw numbers of albums sold,” explained former editor Rachel Newman, “Kylie Minogue is Australia’s most successful female music export.” So her “greatness” is based on her consistent sales? This is from the rock purists’ bible, a magazine that used to laugh at her. But that’s another thing she has in common with the PM: staying power. If people don’t like your policy, or your music, they have to respect your longevity.

Still, Howard probably wouldn’t want too many Minogue comparisons. Not only is she wealthier and more world-famous than he is, but unlike him, she is currently on a high. Her career is based on reinvention, something the PM doesn’t do quite so well. If politics is “show business for ugly people”, as is often said, Howard is perhaps only the second biggest superstar of “safe and predictable” Australia.